Don't Ask Don't Tell (film)

Don't Ask Don't Tell (Film)

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Don't Ask Don't Tell (film)

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Don't Ask Don't Tell is a 2001 parody movie directed by Doug Miles and written by famed gay screen writer Tex Hauser. The 2002 winner of the Boston Underground Film Festival (BUFF) Bachus Award, The Neuchatel Sci-Fi Fest Audience Choice Award, and much critical acclaim for its razor sharp, if quite demented social satire, it was created by taking an old sci-fi movie — Killers from Space — overdubbing the soundtrack with humorous dialogue, and adding some new scenes, essentially turning it into an entirely different movie. The plot involves alien invaders with a machine that turns straight people gay.


Scientist Doug Fartin (who insists that his name is pronounced “Far-tan”) is in charge of Operation Manhole, a project to eliminate all homosexuals in the military by luring them to a specific spot and then dropping a bomb on them. The bomb, however, misses its target and instead obliterates part of the nearby town of Inbred, Texas. The plane is then struck by an invisible force and crashes to earth, and its occupants – Dr. Fartin and the pilot – are presumed dead.

Fartin, however, was saved from the plane by extraterrestrials with bulging eyeballs, who then performed an operation on him. Fartin wanders back to the military base the next day, with no memory of how he survived the plane crash, and is beginning to exhibit stereotypically gay behavior (e.g., he keeps using the word “fabulous”).

Base commander Colonel Butz and surgeon Major Problemo talk...
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